Today we celebrated Pride Sunday as an “Open and Affirming” congregation. What follows is the adapted text of today’s sermon.
Today marks the first time that KANSA has celebrated Pride Sunday. This week, we received the documentation from the Open and Affirming Coalition of the United Church of Christ that we are an officially recognized “Open and Affirming” congregation! (Yes, there was applause!) Every day this week, I have hung our Pride Flag to announce to our community that the Oasis and our church are safe places for every gender identity, expression and orientation.
While we may be a safe place, there are a growing number of places where it is dangerous to be LGBTQ+. In Uganda, the President recently signed one of the toughest anti-LGBTQ laws in the world. The law stipulates a 20-year prison sentence for “promoting homosexuality” and decrees the death penalty for “aggravated homosexuality.” It is even a crime to identify as LGBTQ. A Ugandan human rights activist has called the new law “state-sponsored homophobia and transphobia.”
You’re probably thinking, “Thank God I live in the United States!” Not so fast. Even here in the United States, LGBTQ+ rights are being threatened. This week, the Supreme Court determined that religious businesses and organizations are exempt from anti-discrimination laws regarding employment of LGBTQ+ folks. Even more troubling, the American Civil Liberties Union is currently tracking 491 bills across the United States that target LGBTQ+ rights—a record number. These bills address everything from State-issued IDs to bathroom access to school curricula to gender affirming medical care.
Last month, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a bill into law that makes it a crime for a medical professional to recommend or perform gender affirming surgery on anyone under age 18. And parents of minor trans children can be charged with child endangerment if they seek gender affirming care for their children and risk losing custody of their children to the State.
But as bad as Florida is at protecting LGBTQ+ rights, it’s Texas that takes the cake. Currently, there are 53 anti-LGBTQIA bills being considered there. Kimberly Shappley knows how unsafe Texas can be. Kimberly is the mother of Kai, her trans daughter. When 5-year-old Kai announced to her mother, “I’m a boy,” Kimberly tried to forced Kai to change. Kimberly was a devout member of a conservative church that taught that anything outside of the male/female binary was sinful. But no matter what Kimberly did, Kai (who also goes by the name Esther) insisted that she was a girl. Kimberly finally chose to support her daughter. But when the Texas Attorney General pushed for the passage of a bill that would have made gender affirming medical procedures for minors the equivalent of “child abuse,” Kimberly knew she had to fight for Kai and for herself. She was joined by other mothers of trans children who testified against the bill through a marathon legislative session. Kai also shared her story. Unexpectedly, the bill was defeated, but there was a cost. Because of her support for her daughter, Kimberly was shunned by her church, her family stopped talking to her and her community isolated her. And Kai suffered from the rejection too. At one point, little Kai prayed that God would take her to heaven.
We know that when LGBTQ+ people are condemned or harassed or rejected, death is seriously considered as an option. According to the National Institutes of Health, 82% of transgender individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide. Rates are highest among transgender youth. But the rates significantly decrease for those with supportive families and communities. Thankfully, little Kai had a mother that accepted and advocated for her. Kimberley decided to leave her hometown and move to Austin—the only place in the state that felt safe to raise her daughter. (Update: In 2022, Kimberly made the decision to move out of Texas due to the number of anti-trans bills being considered by the Texas legislature.)
I hear these stories and statistic and I hear echoes of the story of Ishmael and his mother, Hagar. While Ishmael wasn’t non-binary, he was still seen as a threat to the peace and stability of his family and was rejected and kicked out of the house. This is the experience of so many trans and non-binary youth, rejected and kicked out of their communities when they don’t conform to expected gender norms. These youth often end up in the wilderness of homelessness, sex work and self-destructive behavior.
I’ve often been bothered by God’s response to Abraham. Why did God tell Abraham to listen to Sarah and do whatever she said? Why would God sanction kicking Hagar and Ishmael to the curb? But looking at the story more closely, I’m beginning to believe that God was actually liberating Hagar and Ishmael from their oppression–oppression that began the moment Ishmael was born to Hagar. As scary as the wilderness can be, the two of them were finally free from harassment and enslavement. The wilderness wasn’t a place of punishment; it was a sanctuary where they could heal and be given a fresh start. God took them out of their oppression and set them on a new course. By God’s promise of a wonderful future for Ishmael and God’s provision of water in a life-or-death moment, Ishmael learned that his life mattered to God. God had plans for his life. He would thrive. Rejection wasn’t the end of Ishmael’s story; it was a new beginning! Rejection isn’t the end of your story either. God has plans for you too. You matter to God. You have a future.
And you have a community. Kai Shappley (who is now 11 years old) was fortunate to have a mother that refused to reject her–even when others did. And Kimberley Shappley was fortunate to meet Liz Dyer—another Christian mother who refused to reject her gay son. Liz is the founder of “Mama Bears,” a national network of mothers who are fighting for protections for the rights of their LGBTQ+ children. They have become well-known as the crazy Christian ladies who show up at Pride parades and offer free Mama Bear hugs to anyone who wants them. These women are reminding the LGBTQ+ community that God’s love has no boundaries and rejection shouldn’t be the end of anyone’s story.
My hope and prayer is that people of every gender identity, expression and orientation will find mama bears (and even some papa bears) among us, and that they will find God’s healing and new beginnings though this community of faith.
Together, let’s make sure that rejection isn’t the end of anyone’s story. Together, let’s be the witnesses of God’s liberation and a reminder that nothing—not insults, not harassment, not name-calling, not weaponized Bible verses, not laws, not even death-threats—can diminish anyone’s God-given and God-affirmed value. Will we make mistakes? Probably. Will we be perfect in our affirmations? Probably not. But it is what we are committed to become–a sanctuary where life is renewed. Together, let’s work side by side to make sure rejection isn’t the end of anyone’s story. Let’s be allies to make God’s diverse, inclusive, rainbow-filled future a glorious reality here and now. Amen? Amen!
To learn more about Kai, Kimberly and the Mama Bears, watch “Mama Bears,” a 80-minute documentary from Independent Lens (link below). You can also follow Kai on Twitter @kaishappley.
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